Five nights we have now been in this temporary place. As I hang out in this clean but boring hotel room, the question comes to mind. Homeless or Hopeless? Homelessness is the condition of people without a regular dwelling. Well we do have a regular dwelling,,,,,just can't be there right now. Ray can. I cannot. We really are not "homeless" as we do have a roof over our heads, a warm bed, food, television and yes wifi. Well technically a homeless person can have free wifi too if he/she hangs out at McDonalds, Tim Hortons or the local libraries. And whilst begging for a a toonie to buy a hot coffee, I could be surfing the net on my iPhone or Android. Yes I have seen homeless looking types doing just that. Or begging for money while they take a drag from a cigarette! What is wrong with that picture?? How much does a pack of smokes cost? If I truly were homeless I don't think that a pack of smokes would be acceptable. Smoke or eat? You choose.
I really am not hopeless either. I am hopeful. Hopeful that whatever is ailing my poor lungs, will dissipate. Organic mold is what is growing in these alveo sacs of mine. Mold from a plant like source. Our house is dry, so we are very hopeful that it is nothing in there. But to be sure we bought a couple of air purifiers, to get out that 99% of dust, dander (from Miss Martha), mold spores and other "allergens" (whatever that might be?). We also bought new bedding. Bamboo bedding. Supposed to be anti bacterial. That will be on the bed and already to go when I get home next week. I am hopeful too, or maybe it is grateful, that I have oxygen to breathe because without that I might be up the hill in a hospital bed where there are all kinds of germs and bugs floating around. Gives me the creeps just thinking about it. Yes I am very grateful for that.
So after five nights am I feeling any better? No. Negative. Nope. Not. I am no different then I was three weeks ago. I feel like I am in limbo. Waiting for something to happen. What am I waiting for? Waiting to feel better. I wish I was waiting to go on a holiday. Somewhere hot and dry. That would be something to take my mind of off all of this. I am not feeling any worse, so that is a positive. Night before last I had a terrible time sleeping. Lay there staring at the clock, tossing and turning (me, not the clock). I kept thinking that my portable oxygen concentrator, is not really meant to run 24/7. It has developed a bit of a squeak. What if it quits working in the night? Will I suffocate or just go into shallow breathing mode. Could I have some brain damage from the lack of oxygen. You know what awful thoughts can go through your head when you just simply cannot sleep! So yesterday I was feeling a bit worse but that is surely due to the lack of sleep. I was in bed early last night and thankfully slept like a rock!
Today should be a better day at least I cannot blame it on lack of sleep. I am waiting for my good friend Vonnie to come and pick me up. We are off to Michael's and then for lunch. Ray has some time to himself, which I am sure he appreciates. See it is a hopeful day for us and we are neither Homeless nor Hopeless!!
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